NEWS: English tennis in crisis as middle class threaten boycott

English middle classes are threatening to withdraw their support for British tennis after the team’s humiliating defeat in the Davis Cup.

The 1,320 tennis fans in Britain cut–short their skiing holidays in France, Germany and Canada as the inquest into the defeat to Lithuania gathers pace.

And they are now warning tennis chiefs that they will withdraw their two-week passing interest in the game.

The loss of support could have a devastating effect on the game in Britain leading to fears that it will be downgraded from a sport to a ‘pastime’ or even a ‘leisure activity’.

“For two weeks every year we are cheer, shout and eat strawberries like the common fan,” said a spokeswoman.

“We are no fair weather fans. Our support is total and unequivocal in those two weeks of peak summer.”

Meanwhile, the Lawn Tennis Association defended its £40million a year was providing great value for money.

* This story is constructed almost entirely from fiction.

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