Non-Believers Question Existence Of Messi

Bill Hack chief football correspondent

Non-believers across the globe have united in questioning the existence of Messi after Argentina’s disappointing exit from the World Cup finals in South Africa.

Argentina lost 4-0 to Germany in the quarter-finals throwing  millions into a crisis of faith and forcing them to re-evaluate their belief in the ‘Messi-ah’ – as he has been dubbed.

Prior to the match, Argentina manager Diego Maradona – who has form for claiming to be of divine heritage – was once again charged with “playing God” as he announced Messi would start the game.

But the long-haired artist, who claims to have divine powers and the ability to bring joy to millions, made little impact on proceedings – leading many to question whether he ever existed.

“This has just proven my theory that it was all a hoax,” said professor Richard Dawkins. “A Messi delusion if you must.

“The ‘existence’ of this ‘supernatural creator’ that can dribble round dense and organised 21st century defences at will and bring the nation of Germany to its knees – it was all pure fantasy.

“This myth was perpetuated by the marketing men and agents who stand to profit from millions of people literally buying into this fantasy. Its simply untrue.”

But staunch Messi-followers insist that He does exist and He continues to bring joy and inspirations to millions.

They sight his earlier work in the group stages when He was said to have performed miracles in South Africa.

* These words are almost certainly a work of fiction.

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